SIX PACKS ON ICE, JUNIORS EDITION: The Top Ten Hockey Christmas Songs
DISCLAIMER: This blog post may cause you to curl up in a corner and rock back and forth crying uncontrollably every time you hear Mariah Carey sing this holiday season.
With the holidays approaching, hockey teams everywhere are getting into the Christmas spirit in many ways. The most popular is the traditional Teddy Bear Toss, which typically sees the Calgary Hitmen of the WHL set the bar exorbitantly high, this year being no exception with 25,921 stuffed animals collected for charity. As someone that enjoys rinkside seats, I can vouch that these games require Vezina-trophy-winning reflexes in order to not get pegged by some kid’s giant stuffed horse (complete with hard plastic saddle sailing through the air from the upper bowl and gaining speed as it hurtles towards your head on its way to the ice). Seriously. Consider wearing a helmet. Never seen a Teddy Bear game? Check this out.
This past weekend, the Reading Royals of the ECHL took their Teddy Bear Toss up a notch and rocked some wonderfully hideous ugly Christmas sweater jerseys. With a red and green colour scheme complete with reindeer and trees, the Royals added to their 1,600 stuffed animals collected by selling the game-worn, signed jerseys at prices up to 600 bucks. Pretty sure you would win best dressed at a Christmas party wearing one of those babies!
With all the warm and fuzzy feelings aside, sometimes our favourite athletes just want to have fun, and that is exactly what this week’s Top Ten is about. I would like to applaud the person that managed to convince hockey players to dance and sing on camera, because as terrible (really, truly terrible) as it is, it’s pretty darn entertaining.
With that being said, I never, EVER- I repeat NEVER- want to hear Mariah Carey’s rendition of “All I Want For Christmas” EVER again. Hopefully in the future, hockey players will realise that there is more than one Christmas song in existence. For now, however, just try to block out the wailing and concentrate on the absolutely fantastic dancing, lip syncing, and head bobbing (oh so much head bobbing) happening in these gems. Enjoy!
You all know how much I love Call Me Maybe! Enough said.
Nice mashup, ladies! A little bit of Mean Girls, some workout footage, and rocking heels and skates equally well.
Gah! The box steps! Make it stop! Actually, these guys are pretty good dancers. They’ve got moves! Especially white pants guy, he must just own the dance floor over in those Irish pubs!
Oh, junior hockey players. There must be a point in life where a person learns to snap along with a beat, and these boys evidently have not reached it yet. Seriously… there is not one ounce of rhythm here. The amount of awkward in this video is off the charts, but I can’t help but love it. The bathroom stall scene? Fantastic. This may actually be my favourite of the entire list.
These guys really celebrated the true spirit of Christmas: lending some tape, helping teammates put on their equipment - I love it! Impressive evidence of Movember participation and shoutout to the centre ice starfishes, synchronized skating, and the all-boys choir. You guys should start singing in churches.
Three things I learned after watching this video:
- Ovechkin has still not managed to assimilate himself into North American culture. Seriously Ovi, it’s Jingle Bells, first graders can sing it.
- Brooks Laich really really likes playing the drums.
- Tom Wilson looks extremely awkward playing the ukulele but is still pretty high on my list of girl-crushes.
Ok so ugly sweater guy is awesome. The facial expressions make me giggle every time I watch this. And ladies? 40 seconds in. You’re welcome.
Mad props to these guys and girls for singing the song themselves! Admittedly, there could still be some use for vocal lessons, but the opportunity to listen to a voice other than Mariah was refreshing. The fantastic cancan and general ability to stay coordinated and in sync earns the #3 spot on the list!
If you didn’t see this within the last two years, you must have been living under a rock, but I’ll forgive you. Highlights: Jonathon Toews smiles! Patrick Kane shimmies! Duncan Keith… I can’t even explain Duncan Keith actually.
This is old. As in before I was born old. As in Ron Maclean has brown hair old. As in 1987 old. Which can mean only one thing: awesome clips of 80’s era hockey full of Wayne Gretzky magic, Al MacInnis slapshots and Oilers lifting Lord Stanley’s Cup over and over again. If you only watch one part of this song (bad decision- believe me, it’s all worth it), watch the very end starting at 3:45. It’s worth it just for that one clip.
•There is a video somewhere out there of Nick Kypreos singing Christmas Carols back when he played junior with the North Bay Centennials. I can’t find it anywhere. But it exists! If someone finds it, please let me know. It’s a beauty, I promise you.
•For Leafs fans: last year’s first round playoff exit was a heartbreaker, I’m sure. I think that collapse was probably the hockey gods punishing you for this song.
• The San Jose Sharks tried hard and started strong, but they couldn’t make it through the first round. Unfortunately, none of their three attempts made the Top Ten, but here is their best for those that are curious:
I hope that you all enjoyed these special holiday songs! It’s getting me pretty pumped for Christmas, and more importantly: Boxing Day! Ahemmmm World Juniors.
To everyone reading this, have a Merry Christmas, a happy Festivus, and a lovely whatever else you celebrate!
See you next week!
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