Swipe Left: The 7 Guys You Meet On Tinder
So by now you’ve probably heard about Tinder – the new “dating” app that everyone is talking about but most people are too ashamed to download. Our curiosity sparked when Paulina Gretzky posted a picture on Instagram of her using the app (the picture has since been deleted— can you blame her? I doubt PG met Dustin Johnson on Tinder!)
The concept of Tinder is pretty simple: Immediately after downloading the app you’re given a photo stream of the opposite sex determined by your location. You can “like” (swipe right) or “not like” (swipe left) and it’s completely anonymous so someone you’ve “liked” will only know that you “liked” them if they “like” you too— then it’s a match.
I downloaded the app after a few guys I know were kind enough to demonstrate how it works and even share some of their experiences with me. A few days later I found out more and more people I knew were on it: friends, ex boyfriends, co-workers, the guy in front of me at the grocery store.
While I admit that Tinder can become addicting, there is something creepy about it, like poking on Facebook. So in addition to feeling completely violated by total strangers, here’s a short rundown of who you can expect to encounter on Tinder.
1. The Guy who shouldn’t be on Tinder
Chances are The Guy who shouldn’t be on Tinder’s girlfriend doesn’t know he’s on Tinder but if he is posing with the same girl in every photo—his relationship status might be a dead give-a-way.
2. The Hockey Player
The Hockey Player does pretty well for himself on Tinder for one reason and one reason only: chicks dig hockey players! His profile usually shows off the back of his jersey or if you’re lucky— a picture snapped during a helmetless warm-up.
3. The “18 Year Old”
They 18 Year Old might say they’re 25 but don’t be surprised if every other guy you swipe past is a mutual friend of your little brother.
4. The Stickler
The Stickler’s profile pictures will consist solely of group pictures with his “bros” making it seemingly impossible to know which one he is— but you don’t really have time to figure it out so quickly swipe left and move on.
5. That Guy that:
a.) dated your friend
b.) is still dating your friend
c.) went out with your friend once and never called her back
6. The D-bag
The D-bag is easy to spot. Look for shirtless selfies taken in front of a bathroom mirror or lifting weights at the gym (BONUS: If the picture is being taken with a white iPhone). If you’re lucky enough to match with this guy, expect a message along the lines of “How many push-ups can you do?”
7. “That Guy”
When you willingly subject yourself to an online community of singles within a certain radius, you’re bound to find people you know. “That Guy” thinks it’s so hilarious that he’s found you on Tinder— he screen shots your profile and sends it to everyone you know— including you.