I’m not a very athletic person. My endurance is shotty and I’m not particularly motivated by a deep need to win. What I DO excel at when it comes to team sports is trash talk. And, unsurprisingly, it’s also my favourite part of the sporting world. For someone who lives off drama, it’s truly amazing to watch giant, burly men resort to the same bitchy retorts as a high school girl.
So, for your reading pleasure (and my ultimate researching pleasure) I have narrowed down the giant lists of trash talk from all over the sporting world to the Top 10 best quotes.
10. Floyd Mayweather Jr:
“When I retire, I’ll get Ricky Hatton to wash my clothes and cut my lawn and buckle my shoes. Ricky Hatton ain’t nothing but a fat man. I’m going to punch him in his beer belly. He ain’t good enough to be my sparring partner.”
Boxers seem to have the craziest trash talk in the game, in fact they occupy 3 spots on this list! Mayweather talks the talk with the best of them, to the point that he was invited to Wrestlemania XXIV.
9. Mike Ditka:
“What’s the difference between a 3-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In six weeks, the puppy stops whining.”
Ouch Ditka! Way to cut sportswriters deep! Proving that young players aren’t the only ones with sharp tongues, the legendary former player, coach and commentator is known for his brash (and recently sleepy) ways.
8. Shaquille O’Neal:
“Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes.”
Seen as the lovable big guy of the NBA it’s surprising how many personal feuds Shaq gets into on a regular basis. Besides tiffs with Van Gundy, Dwight Howard and the whole Sacramento Kings team, Shaq dedicated this quip in song form to Kobe Bryant.
7. Diego Maradona:
“Pele should go back to the museum.”
In response to a quip of Pele saying Maradona “accepted the job of national coach because he needed the money”, the former midfielder let him know exactly where he’s needed.
6. Mike Tyson:
“Lennox Lewis, I’m coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children!”
Remember a time before Tyson was affectionately singing along to Phil Collins? Before you knew about his pigeon collection? A simpler time when you covered your ears and hid your children when Mike was around.
5. Howard Cosell:
“Don’t touch me, I’ll beat your brains out.”
Finally! A journalist who talks back! Cosell is a major exception on this list and places so high on it because this quote was said to Muhammad Ali when Ali put his fist against Cosell’s chin. Brave words! Not to worry, the two remained friends for decades.
4. Shannon Sharpe:
“I’ll call the President. President, we need the National Guard! We need as many men as you can spare! Because we are killing the Patriots! So call the dogs off! Send the National Guard, please!”
This hilarious SOS was recorded during a 1996 game that saw Sharpe and the Broncos unleash a beat down on the Patriots with a score of 34-8.
3. Muhammad Ali:
“Joe Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the U.S. Bureau of Wildlife.”
Thought of by many as the first athlete to trash talk his opponents before a match, Ali had a knack for worming his way into their minds. Even if it’s just with a simple “You’re so ugly that…” joke.
2. Patrick Roy:
“I can’t really hear what Jeremy says, because I’ve got my two Stanley Cup rings plugging my ears.”
While it wasn’t a sassy wink, this quip still deserves some snaps. Said in retaliation to Roenick asking where he was during Game 3 of the ’96 Western Conference Finals, Roy would go on to win another cup.
1. Sean Avery:
“I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about, but enjoy the game tonight.”
Is there anything lower than trash talking a fellow athlete AND your ex in the same breath? Noted troublemaker (and fashion lover!) Avery didn’t seem to appreciate the coupling of Dion Phaneuf and Elisha Cuthbert nor Jarret Stoll and Rachel Hunter, but was ultimately suspended for his gross comment.